Noah is continuing to pinch and resist being held. We have several episodes each day of repeated pinching and time outs. He pinches, we put him in time out and explain why is sitting there, he gets out, looks at us, and pinches just as hard as he can again. I truly believe he is testing us to find out what the rules are in our family, if those rules will stand or fail, if we will be consistent, and where he fits in our family. It is extremely difficult to keep an even temper.
Bedtime continues to be challenging as well. For instance, tonight I knew he needed time being held but because he is pinching so much it is hard to hold him. The holding time becomes unproductive when I am up and down to put him in time out. So I wrapped him in his favorite blanket like a newborn (arms tucked in) and rocked him in the semi-darkness of twilight. He screamed and fought me, kicking his legs and struggling to get away. But I maintained face to face contact with him, kissing him occasionally, speaking in soft tones, telling him how mommies like to hold their babies and how I love him. When I knew he was at his limit of being held and it was apparent that he was not going to stop crying, I gently unwrapped him, allowing him to turn from me with his back against my chest. We rocked like that for a few minutes until he asked for his monkey. After laying him in his crib I massaged his head and face. Amazingly, he let me, arms relaxed above his head, quietly sucking his thumb. I can assure you that I did not leave this scene energized and upbeat. It takes a lot out of me. Although each time I repeat this nighttime sequence it does get easier.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: This is hard! It reminds me of how we resist our Heavenly Father. We fight and kick and struggle with our insecurities as well as our prideful belief that we can do it ourselves. God, however, continues to hold us and love us despite the ugliness that so often surfaces in our lives. And as we look full into the face of God we finally understand how much he loves us. We can rest easy, knowing that He will always be constant despite the uncertainties and difficulties of this life. He is faithful!
1 comment:
Wow, you are just going to be so wise and seasoned in the faith through all of this. You are doing a GREAT job! Where your strength and ability end is where grace takes over and God works through you and for you.
P had started hitting a little bit. It seems she testing it out to see what will happen. I'd read somewhere with this age, and with our situation to try "time-ins" instead of time outs. I sit with Piper on the step, where the other kids have their time outs, and hold her while I tell her she is in time out for hitting. I tell her that hurts people and is not ok, and everytime she'll go to timeout. She yells "NOOOO!" and I hold her firmly and ask if she's ready to say sorry to whoever she hit. She'll say yes, but then say "You do it". I say no, you hit, you say sorry, but I'll go with you. I take her hand and lead her. Occasionally she'll act like she can't do it, so I tell her I'll help her and say it for her and have her repeat after me. My goal is not perfection on her part, but to lead her through it and give her practice. We then give hugs and move on.
It seems to be helping.
I'm sure you are completely spent after your night time routine. I just know it will be worth it. God SEES you!
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